When he’s not living the high life, rollerskating around Porthleven with a bottle of Lambrini in his hand, Andy likes to go surfing. He recently went on a 3 month trip to Indo, and came back with a shed load of dodgy tales. So incase you ever go to Indo, here’s a few pointers to help you get the most out of your trip, and hopefully avoid some of the situations Andy found himself in.

Free Tattoos

Every Tuesday Australian run surf shop Deus offers free 20 minute tattoo’s when you buy a meal. Worth taking advantage of but just make sure you dont get a Bad Tattoo, like mine.

Make Friends with the Bouncers

Make friends with any bouncers or door staff as early as possible in your trip, be it  through gifts or possibly chucking them a couple hundred thousand rupiah just to make sure they all sweet. I definitely wouldn’t recommend  climbing onto a wall  and accidentally kicking off a glass ashtray , then having possibly the gnarliest looking indonesian bouncer strangle you for two minutes asking why you did it, before getting thrown off into the street and scuttling away scared to death.

On one instance i was pushed and went into some uncontrolled skid across the dance floor, after regaining balance and amazed to still be standing I saw the bouncer approaching, obviously to have words with the guy that pushed me,only to see him come at me and deliver punch to my stomach, telling me not to do it again.

Dont try to have a conversation with a man holding a machine gun.

Overcoming crowds

After a week flat spell at Lakey Peak ,Sumbawa everyone was going out of there minds . When the swell finally did arrive getting waves was a real problem due to the vast amount of wave starved people in the water. My only solution was to paddle out wearing my favourite dress, after that getting waves was no problem, either because everyone thought I was a chick and would kindly let me have whichever wave i wanted , or were so disgusted in this show of cross dressing that they wanted to be no where near me. Either way make sure to pack your dress if you think its going to be busy in the water.

Making Friends in the sea

After surfing all day I thought i’d go back in just before dark, being the kook I am I found myself falling through the air heading straight towards some guy underneath me . After narrowly missing the poor guy , I surfaced to see his board snapped in two and him yelling at me, I protested my innocence that i hadn’t landed on it, until I saw this photo. Still not sure if i did, if your out there i’m sorry.

Airport Fee

When leaving Denpasar airport , Bali. A standard airport tax of IDR 150,000 (£10 ish) is charged. Don’t make the same mistake as me and have to spend 2 weeks working with the locals in order to get enough money to go home.

Free booze

To keep costs low I developed a system which involved spending hardly any money all day. After the complimentary breakfast in the morning, you’d hold of on spending any money on meals all day even though you’d be super hungry from surfing all day. You’d then hit Skygarden , one of Kuta’s many nightclubs which offer Free booze and food for an hour which you’d take full advantage of. However i advise not taking advantage of everything thats free in Bali.

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We’ll have more from Andy very soon when he heads to The London Olympics to make an epic new Rollerskating movie, in the meantime, if you like the look of the t-shirts he was destroying, you can get them here…